ROAD HOUSE (2024) REVIEW

 

"Road House" swings its lasso, aiming for Western greatness but lands somewhere closer to Looney Tunes lunacy. Picture Jake Gyllenhaal strutting into town like the lovechild of Clint Eastwood and Bugs Bunny, ready to wrangle trouble with a grin and a flex.

In this wild ride, Gyllenhaal's Elwood Dalton is a fallen titan, a UFC behemoth turned barroom bouncer. His mere presence is enough to send troublemakers fleeing faster than you can say "last call." But trouble doesn't take a holiday, especially not in Glass Key, Florida, where the local tough guys are giving new meaning to the term "road rage."

Enter Jessica Williams as Frankie, the harried owner of Road House, a neon-lit haven threatened by motorcycle-riding miscreants and corporate goons alike. She needs a hero, and Dalton—with his chiseled jawline and a heart of gold, fits the bill like a glove.

But this ain't your usual Western polygon. Beneath the neon lights and muscle-bound bravado lies a tale as twisted as a pretzel at a yoga retreat. Real estate tycoon Ben Brandt, played with villainous flair by Billy Magnussen, is pulling strings like a puppet master with a vendetta. And just when you think things can't get crazier, in struts Conor McGregor as Knox, a sociopathic whirlwind with a grin wider than the Mississippi.

Director Doug Liman sets the stage with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop, blending heart-pounding action with moments of pure absurdity. Gyllenhaal leads the charge with a performance that's equal parts charm and menace, like a snake charmer with a mean left hook.

But for all its bravado, "Road House" falters when it tries to play it straight. The CGI fight scenes feel more like a glitchy video game than a brawl in the Keys, leaving viewers wondering if they accidentally stumbled into the Matrix.

And then there's McGregor, a whirlwind of awkward line readings and larger-than-life grins. Is he a genius or just lost in translation? It's a question as perplexing as the movie itself.

In the end, "Road House" is a cocktail of chaos—a potent blend of Western homage and cartoonish antics that's as refreshing as a cold beer on a hot summer day. So saddle up, partner, and prepare for a ride you won't soon forget. Just don't forget your CGI repellent.