IMMACULATE (2024) REVIEW

 "Immaculate" is like the lovechild of Italian horror and a nun's silent scream for help, but it ends up being more of a confused whimper than a bold statement. Sydney Sweeney, fresh off her "moment" in "Anyone but You," dives headfirst into the role of Cecilia, a nun-to-be who's about to learn that convent life isn't all hymns and holy water.

Cecilia's journey begins with all the clarity of a foggy Italian morning. We know she survived a childhood accident, but beyond that, she's as mysterious as the contents of a Vatican vault. It's like playing chess with pieces made of smoke—there's movement, but no substance.

As Cecilia navigates the murky waters of the convent, she's greeted not with open arms, but with visions and vague threats. The setting, supposedly a crossroads of life and religion, feels more like a pit stop on the highway to hell. And don't even get me started on the time period—it's as elusive as Bigfoot in a blizzard.

But wait, there's a twist! Cecilia finds herself pregnant without the joys of a romantic rendezvous. Is it a miracle or a case of immaculate deception? Unfortunately, the filmmakers seem as clueless as a tourist lost in the catacombs.

Through it all, Sydney Sweeney shines brighter than a stained glass window on a sunny day. She dives into the darkness with gusto, even when the script feels flatter than a communion wafer. It's like watching a one-woman show in the middle of a haunted house—captivating, but ultimately lost in the shadows.

In the end, "Immaculate" is a bit like trying to find meaning in a foggy mirror—it's there, but you'll strain your eyes trying to see it. So, grab your popcorn and strap in for a rollercoaster ride through the halls of horror, where even Russell Crowe on a Vespa can't save you from the murky depths of mediocrity.