GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE (2024) REVIEW

 

In "Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire," the titans are back, but this time, they're not just duking it out for dominance—they're facing a threat that makes their epic battles seem like child's play. Think of it as a kaiju soap opera, with giant monsters and human drama thrown in for good measure.

Director Adam Wingard and his team decided to take the scattergun approach to storytelling, bouncing between plotlines like a hyperactive kangaroo on a trampoline. It's like they took a handful of spaghetti and threw it at the wall to see what sticks—except instead of spaghetti, it's plot threads, and instead of a wall, it's the audience's collective consciousness.

Rebecca Hall's anthropologist character, Ilene Andrews, takes center stage this time, trying to unravel the mystery behind some strange energy pulses. Along for the ride is Bernie Hayes, the conspiracy podcaster who's probably seen one too many episodes of "Ancient Aliens." Together, they uncover a secret civilization of giant primates in Hollow Earth, because apparently, the planet wasn't crowded enough already.

But amidst all the chaos and destruction, there are moments of pure cinematic gold. Dan Stevens steals the show as the swashbuckling kaiju veterinarian, rappelling into Kong's mouth like he's auditioning for a dental-themed action movie. And let's not forget Kong's heartwarming relationship with a scamp of an ape in Hollow Earth—it's like "Parenthood," but with furrier cast members.

Unfortunately, the film's villain, Skar King, is introduced so late that you'll wonder if they accidentally left him out of the script until the last minute. And while Godzilla does his thing, wreaking havoc like it's nobody's business, you can't help but feel like he's just there for the paycheck.

Overall, "Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire" is a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions. If you're a fan of giant monsters and even bigger egos, you'll find plenty to love. Just don't expect it to make much sense—after all, when you're dealing with creatures the size of skyscrapers, logic tends to take a backseat.